Solar Fake - Reasons to Kill

Another storm begins to gather, taking my unheard screams away
I am wasting so much time now, playing along with the scenes

I cannot cling to lost ambitions, I don't need your effort now
Cause I'm no longer part of this game
No trace of me remains

For the darkening of my eyes
For a covering of my skies
For revealing my disguise
I hate you more than my life

For the words I never heard
For the things I'd have preferred
For my focus going blurred
I hate you more than my life

No correction of wrong directions would lead to the perfect path
I have been the false reflection of the image behind the door

I was permanently drifting into the great white void
Just before I go insane
No trace of me remains

I'm cold, but I'm awake
And fragments of my memory are randomly erased
Like the picture of your face

I tried not to forget
The anesthetic effect of time that passed by, constantly
And my head seems to explode

What else could I feel, but scorn?
My anger has become a silent thorn under the skin
Still waiting to break through

Face me, I'll chase you / I don't need a guide to your mind
Come, face me, I'll trace you back / our beauty we've left far behind
Come, face me, I'll chase you / to bury your light in myself
Come, face me, I'll trace you back someday, I'll trace you back anyway

But solitude remains
Your former shine became so dull, the mirror of a soul
I've found myself inside your heart

I'm cold, but I'm alive
And I tear aside the walls to find a way outside again
But I end up in the next maze

You never knew I was here, you've never seen me here fighting with your fears
And take the torment on myself in existing inside you, living inside you

You said you're trying so hard, but it's in vain
I think it could be all more complex again

You say you see me, you try to take my hand
I wish I could reach you, but you don't quite understand

The essence in this life – ingenious destruction
A balanced self weighs more than all the doubts you're going through
The anchor of our faults resists the last eruptions
I'm drowning in your ignorance, why can't I change the view

You say it's hurting, but after all we will proceed
I think I'd like to believe this too, indeed
How dead we are

You said I should go on talking before we fall
I think, well I did not speak today at all

And this addiction keeps you moving ahead
The contradiction disappears in your head
You've seen the dead when you were turning around
The ships you've sailed have all been running aground

Don't try to fool me 'cause I know when you lie
Who shall be taken by the glint in your eye
And I no longer want to listen to what
You've said a thousand times before, it will never come true

I'd have set the fire for you
I'd have killed the neighbours kids for you
I'd have tied up my hands to you
Now there's nothing left over for you

I'd have missed the target for you
I'd have rejected the bargains for you
I'd have arranged an escape again, for you
Now there's only compassion left for you

I have stopped to care about the good and the bad
The definition has to be specified again
I've changed my skin and dropped the feeling instead
Why should I finish what I never began?

Don't try to control me, 'cause I am the light
That leads myself out of the blackness inside
And I cannot pretend that this is real anymore
'Cause I am just the vision you have killed before

In all this time you have suppressed my delight
There's never been a chance for winning this fight
I'm still uncertain if I'm doing it all right
Will I be deadly when I bite?

Another day, another way to forget the easiness of life
And it feels like I'm running away from the steps I take

It's still in my mind…
when all the colours became a million shades of grey
No turning back to the past, no more memorizing your sorrow

With the darkness left behind
I just don't want to know what tomorrow brings
And the fear is blind – a last goodbye to the earth

Yet another reset to default
And life is spinning around like a feather
And I'm turning away from the walls
which obstructed the way before
And another time I burnt my shelter down
To feel your ice and your rain and your fire
Until I'm pure and bare and safe again –
no one ever can turn me around

I am so tired, tired of pretending unspoiled harmony
And no one ever wasted a thought on asking me how I feel

It's just the time
to decide between countless ways that I could take
And even if there are doubts I will never complain or regret

And your words are left behind
I still don't want to know when tomorrow comes
And heaven's blind – a last goodbye to the world

The pain is gone
I've been profoundly wrong
I never thought the day would dawn again

The paths – astray
There was no other way
I haven't seen a sunrise since you've gone

I've wasted all my fears
Another day we'll rise and fall
And restart the dead-end game

The sparkle in your eyes is distressing me
But we'll rise and fall
For the time that still remains

The wars we fought
All set at nought
Why did we never take what we required

The lights go out
Well, I can live without
Cause shadows disappear and let me go

I've wasted all my fears
Another day we'll rise and fall
And restart the dead-end game

The sparkle in your eyes is depressing me
But we'll rise and fall
For the time that still remains

I'm flying through the years
And realize we'd rise and fall
While we're crawling bare and chained

Through a world we thought we've made a perfect place
We'll rise and fall
For the time that still remains

The world has changed today
A silence took the light away from me
And I have seen the truth about the hell you came from
There are far too many reasons to kill

I'm waiting for the day to come
I've won the battle on my own
I was torn, but now I'm running out of doubts

I soar up to the sky
'Cause I could not comply
With rules I must deny
Now all the barricades are gone
And I can write a different ending
And I will never bend
For things I can't believe in
I'd rather break in two

All words are said today
My questions safely cast away
But I never tried to find the answers inside me
And through all the years my pure objections were overruled

Today the lights began to fade
And I have washed my mind in their dirt
And I have tried blanking out these thoughts
That always felt so wrong, but still right
It was just a step too close to keep me staying here

I've lost control over myself
I've lost control over my spaces / space
My last reply to all the lies
Now I don't want to compromise
Before I'm stunned I want to see
How much the world can disagree

Today there's no one left to trust
And I would break the bonds if I could
But I am bored
Bored with all the days spent in my own haze
And again I am just not in the mood to change a world

If I could heal the sores, if I could keep it under
Would I just kill myself instead of you?

I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I found bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway

Just like before…

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break.

I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again

Just like before…

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break.

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to… break!

Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up, shut up, shut up,
Shut up when I'm talking to you!
Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
I'm about to… break!

I escaped from your mind, yet unseen
While the angels have lost every inner fight
I turned away from the fears
And from the shadows arises a vague delight

Hurt and expelled
But my view's getting clear, I'm no longer blind
With your life in my hands
You'll have to find a way to rebuild your trust

Break the pain – what starts will end
Break the pain – who fails will bend
Break the pain – what starts will end
Break the truth just once

You're twisting and turning again
But whatever you try, you're like paralyzed
And it won't stop to bleed

Keep the pain away
Take the hurt off me
Keep the pain away
Get the filth out

It saves you from the light to wear the mask, the world turns faster now
I cannot fill the holes you've torn out of my bleeding heart
And time was on your side, but I could hide behind your fate again
And wait until you step out of the dark, my bleeding heart

Your senses are sharpened
But still you have no faint idea if you stand or lie
And your hands cannot move
And a twinge of despair overwhelms you now

No time to regret
When you still don't know what the hell went so wrong
And it won't ever stop

I tried to taste like I'm blind
But it's still so hard to ignore those tears
And when I spread my arms there's nothing I could feel

With all barriers in mind
It's just like I'm caught in a cage of your fears
And the choices have passed, unused and out of reach again

I turn over the pages till they're blank
But how could I assuage the fire in my head
I don't want the answers to be bent
I never asked for reasons in the end

I try to lock your thoughts
Cause my head is aching, I feel abused
And as time went by I heard less and less from myself

The cold wind all around
Just becomes a storm, but I'm lying still
And I don't really care what will remain of life and you and me