Solar Fake - Another Manic Episode

Just help yourself, I'm lying here
It's not the time to disappear
It still could get worse, but anyway
I'll take the pills you offer me

I see myself on padded feet
Just take the steps that surely lead me to place where I can fade out all the noise that people make

Just leave me, just leave me out
Don't touch me

What did you say? Where have you gone?
Where are you now? I want some fun!
Let's just go out and bother some strangers who can get mad so easily

This is not what I wanted! My God, what have we become? Why haven't we started?
It's the play I've learnt from my heart, well, this is a nightmare, but it's my life
This is not what I wanted, you're right but could you stop dramatizing what I said?
Got your point but hey, I'm alright, well, this is a nightmare, but it's my life

Still got some pride that's left in me
I know you think I cannot see
You keep myself away from me
At least you try, occasionally
But after all I'm just okay
With everything still in my way
I just don't care enough today
Yet I don't care

Wake up, it's time
And let's cross the red line
No more worries, the world's no longer blurry
Let's just cut through the wrong connections that pursued us in our whole life
Let me take your best knife

And the sun will rise when the city awakes from the dead of the night
And the bars cast shadows on my face

Save me, get me out and then break me
I'm so proud of you
Take me somewhere I can fake to be alive
Save me from myself and then break me
Well, I don't care but please take me
Somewhere I can fake to be alive

I've been waiting, I'm so tired of stating
When will you come around here and take me home
Further into the pit of mankind we grew
But you're out and I bleed
I don't care as much as it seems

And the sun will rise when the city awakes from the dead of the night
I'm still sitting here in chains

It's cold outside, but I have to leave, 'cause I can't stay
So many words are said, just a waste of breath
I'd die to get me out of the mire devouring me
Then I'll wake up and find the world aligned again
I take a break from trust and lies
The altered parts of my memory prevailed again
I feel so incomplete today

What do you think kept us alive
In unstrained moments, in airy times
With nothing left to say but ‘I don't care'
I'll take a break from cheer and pain
The counterparts will never match again
There's nothing left to take care of

All the things you say
Cannot hurt me much, I'm a whore all over
And I'll be there just for you
For a last time tonight
The things you say
Don't affect me much, I'm a supernova
And I'll shine so bright for you
For a last time tonight

Nobody gets what they deserve
Now as time goes by it's immaterial
It hardly matters what I do believe
We'll take a break from standing still
At least we'll clear eternity another day
But we don't mind

There's a crack in the ice and it's coming after me
Should I wait and not blink, or should I run and get away
But every will would need a force
And once again there will be another way out, just like every time
So I go drowning and see what's coming next

I could go and have a drink with you, but I'm too bored
Oh, it could be nice but that's not what I'm looking for, what you're looking for
So why not leave it all behind?
Well, it seems so draining just to think about it anyway
So I keep going and leave it all untouched

I'm under control
I am well sedated and permanently sick
I'm under control
I don't care too much if I win or if I get tricked
I ran out of passion, but carry the weight
'til the end when I bury myself
Still under control, I'm taking it all from you

I go waste your time like any other day
Seems I look forsaken, and I'll be either way
And when I'm laughing it's my fault
And when I say that all these pictures on the wall are greyish anyway
I didn't mean it, they're only black and white

They've found you amongst the waves
I went away 2 weeks ago
On normal days I'm not used to saying goodbye many times
No looking back, but hey you know, just a glimpse to remember the times
I'm not too sentimental, just don't want to forget everything

The distance was growing fast
I still feel your breathing on my skin
Expected you behind me
But you're never there when I look around
So I forge ahead and I feel sure I'll never get any rest
I'm feeling weak, but I have nothing to regret

Escaped before I fell apart
Why the fuck you broke my heart
Another end, another start
Why the fuck you broke my heart

I can't put them into any order
The million image-shreds of your face
I should not care about you, but get me further away
Can you tell me how I could resist
To watch them saving you from the sea
They'll surely fail, they'll be too late, it's too late

I've been to your private hell
And I thought it's our farewell
But to keep up the will is a gift and a curse and it's treason
And our dreams will divide
And all thinking gets out of the light
We can't reach each others hand unless we fall

We're beautiful – as long as we believed we're getting closer
But as we grew closer we're unsuitable to live the perfect life
And just get older until it's over

We're becoming weaker, could be time to admit our defeat
But there's so much left undone, but no second chances
Time is passing us by and it doesn't seem right
That you're dying in my arms and leave me behind

Who cast the first stone into the water so that the waves would rise and rise
And tear ourselves away from home
It doesn't matter what we do and what we feel or say
You're looking far too frail…

As if bugs are creeping up inside you
They colonise your body and take you to the ruins of your self-destruction
But you still can go, so let's just go
No need to divide all the good from the bad and the happy from the sad
You're just above the waterline, but
You still can go, so let's just go

Now time is up for all those bad decisions
That you came to after thinking too much
About living amidst the people you hate
You still can go, so let's just go

It's your secret dead-end that you're trying to bend
To take part in the race of the rats
Now you're gasping for air and the world proves unfair
And it's bearing the blame for your own mistakes
The signals you send as the man you pretend to be
In the race of the rats
Never hit me at all, so I'm watching your fall
And everyone's stepping aside now

When all your life was built on misinformation
And you just tried to find a proper place to be
Then why didn't you use your brain to think?
You still can go

You can't live and you can't die
The space around you looks so sad, but I won't cry for you again
I'm counting the words that fly to me
I shut my ears so they won't come inside, I just became so tired of that
So I won't breathe, I look away and I can no more feel you here, you see?

If you would care you'd see a truth that will not match with yours
However hard you try, it won't be right
But I can't leave until you know that I can no more bear you near, you see?

You can't break me now, 'cause I've learnt to resist you every day
When you made your vows that would last one day
And I hate to say, but your days are long gone
And it took me a while to get over it
But I can't let you run, finding another way on another day

I'd rather die, if I were you, with all these things you can't undo
Why don't you find an answer to these questions I'm asking
Oh I would swim, if I were you, across the ocean wide and blue
Until I drown, until I'm true
You still owe me an answer

When you're lying on the floor
Like a 1-bit-copy of what you've been before, but you don't know
I clear my way from all your waste and feel the dust beneath my feet,
It's pure and clean, I'm bare and new
But I won't freeze, because I know that I'm no longer bound to you, you see?

You said I'm wrong while you explained me how I feel
But honestly, I never felt so much when you were here
And I don't mind you analyzing me again
But do you really think I wouldn't notice what you do?
Are you right? Well, I don't know…
But what still works for yourself is untrue

I can take it myself, I don't want you in here
Why don't you even understand what you do to me
I will find my own way, I don't want you in here
What's the point of dragging me back to reality again

I feel alright, are you expecting me to talk?
‘Cause I can't think about all the things that matter just to you
If I could raise my head I would just look away
I close my eyes and I wonder if there'll be another day
Am I wrong? Well, I don't know
But what works for myself remains true

Leave me alone, there's so much more you can regret
Please turn off the light before you go and I'll be home

Is it already time to say a last goodbye?
I have not made these rules
And it seems we can't get around
And the things I have learnt are of no importance now
And I hope I will never wake up again, so

Stay with me, always…
‘Cause I won't get over you
There's so much room in this life for you and me

There is nothing to say when all words are meaningless
No more breaks, not one day to take another breath
And the sun seems unfair if it shines on everyone but you
I can't stand this any longer, please stay…

I have tried, I have lied, I was wrong so many times
Well, I can't just let go, I would take the pain from you if I could
But now come, take a rest in my arms
And don't try to think about all the things we'll miss… so please stay…

Stay, please don't go
Wake up now, 'cause life's no longer worth anything without you
So why can't you just stay…